No Show Ponies

I began brainstorming for a book after so many friends made comments to me about starting a blog or writing a book about parenting. I have always loved writing, but never thought I would write a non-fiction book about my life or parenting. Why would anyone want to hear about my life? Even to think about writing about my children, I thought, “No way!” Although I think they are miraculously great and wonderful, as all parents should, that is the exact problem. Why would I make a book about my children for you to read when your children are the ones you are to enjoy? You don’t want to read about mine!

So, I decided to not make it about me or my children, specifically, and just write about my parenting experiences. For whatever reasons, others seemed to think my experiences were interesting and they could often relate to them.  So, I could write simply about those experiences and share some ideas for whoever might want to read them. This would be simple. Brainstorm a list of the ideas I have tried at home, write about the details, and those who wanted to try them, would, and those who didn’t want to, wouldn’t. I’m a parent of 5 children, I have a degree in Elementary Education, I have taught school, homeschooled, and now my children are in school, so although I’m still young, I have a diverse prospective to share. Simple, right? Well, as I started writing I realized my parenting isn’t about ideas. I’m not a walking crash course on parenting. First of all, I do not always succeed and the failures are actually what make up more of who I am, so my crash course wouldn’t grant you many college credits, I’m sure. Second of all, I’m just a normal mom who loves her kids and occasionally entertains people on Facebook with status updates. Why would you want to know more about me? My story seems simple and like so many others.  

As I began writing some of the chapters for this book, the conclusion I found is that parenting isn’t something I do, it is something I am. Parenting is my passion! I’m not sure the requests for me to write have as much to do with me lending ideas to others to use in their homes as it has to do with others wanting to share in the enjoyment I have for parenting! There are so many wonderful parents in this world who parent in so many different ways! Some have traditional homes with mom, dad and kiddos. Some have single parent homes, some have blended families, and some have adopted children. Others are grandparents and family members trying to raise children with no other place to go. We have working parents and stay-at-home parents. “Parents” is a very broad term covering a very broad variety of people! Some of us planned to be here undertaking this job title and some of us did not. I am a biological parent to 3 children who were very planned. I am a step-mom to 2 children who I, obviously, did not plan. I am blessed beyond words to have them all in my life.

Although we all have different stories on how we became parents, we have a very similar life theme. We are responsible for guiding other human beings on their life journeys and sometimes we succeed in our choices and sometimes we fail. Great parents do both, succeed and fail, and the greatest of the great parents do both on a daily basis! Parenting is not based on the choices you make that are right and wrong. Parenting is based on Living by your Heart’s Intent!

The intentions of your heart determine the choices you make as a parent. As loving parents, we have full intent to do what is best for our children out of love for their soul and individual life journeys. You do not have to be a mother of 5 in a blended family to relate to my parenting stories or ideas. You must simply be a parent who is Living by Heart’s Intent. That is the tie that binds us. This is how I relate to others.

To live your life attempting to find balance for yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually as you simultaneously focus selflessly on the children you have been asked to care for makes YOU a great parent. Please notice I specifically said “attempting”. Your merit is not based on how successfully you discipline or how much time you spend with them or how mushy gushy you love on them. If they are potty trained by 18 months or have a bottle still when they are 3, it’s ok! If they graduate Magna Cum Laude from the University or if they drop out of high school, it’s ok! Their life journey is just that, theirs! Your merit and your life journey is based on the fact that you recognize your responsibilities as a parent and instead of seeing it as a responsibility, you call it a blessing.

You make daily choices based on your desire to have pure heart intentions. God will give you the desires of your heart. If you desire to have perfected parenting skills and raise brilliant “show ponies” for all the world to see; I’m thinking you may be following your own selfish desires. If you think this blog or any of the 20 parenting books on your shelf will give you all the tools needed to “do it right”; I’m thinking you will have a very unfulfilling road ahead. But, if you feel in your heart to simply do the best you can for your children in the best way you know how with the purest of hope for the fulfillment of their life journeys, then congratulations! I feel you are listening to the desires God placed in your heart and you will be a blessing to your “little blessings” of responsibility!

I will continue this blog and although I will always trust my heart as to what I need to write about each week, I do have a long list of ideas brainstormed already. I will write about chores, allowance, meal planning, disciplining, and all of the other many things a parent experiences, but hopefully I can place a new and creative spin on the thoughts with each of these things. Parenting is not black and white (ever) and hopefully by sharing some of my ideas I can inspire you in some small way on your own journey! Many of you have asked me ideas about specific things I do in our home; maybe because you know I am an intense OCD micro-organizer who always obsesses, but tries to do it with a smile…or maybe because you just wonder how my sanity is holding strong with 5 children! Either way, I will do my best to share about what you have asked of me. Please feel free to leave a comment, question, or email me personally if you would like to keep a struggle you may be having private! I can promise you this…if you are struggling with something, so are a million other parents, so please feel free to be honest! Even when we don’t have an answer for each other, we can surely share the burden and make the experience more bearable!

Today, I wish for each of you to congratulate yourself, thank yourself, and appreciate yourself for accepting the job of parenting! To keep your head up and start each day new says a lot about who you are and please trust I know, that some days, that simple step of starting again, can be a BIG task.