I’ve overheard my children say, on many occasions, “Oh my
god, does she expect us to be perfect?!?” I know, I know, hard to imagine any
of my 3 teenage daughters rolling their eyes or mumbling such insanity under
their breath… especial since I know they ARE such perfect creatures!
Here’s the truth – they are right! I absolutely, unequivocally,
EXPECT PERFECTION 100% of the time!
Why? Because
perfection is the easiest thing to achieve!
Each of my 6 children, from ages 2 to 15, are the most
perfect form of themselves at each present moment in time. No one could ever be
as perfectly them, as they are, each and every moment. They are a perfect form of
all they have experienced and all they know, and they are a perfect form
preparing so well for the people they are evolving to be. I have 6 perfect
children and I love them for their perfection!
I believe the misunderstanding is when they feel I have a
specific goal of who they should be and when I push them to achieve greatness,
they feel I am pushing them to be without flaw. Ha… without flaw… oh, if I
could have only one passing moment of my life that I, myself, am without flaw. Although,
the ironic thought would be, if we were without flaw, we would not be perfect
because doesn’t perfection include a perfect preparedness for evolving to the
next stage? “Without flaw” would insinuate we have achieved the highest form of
being. I believe our understanding of perfection is quite skewed.
I look forward to the day I can sit and have hours of theoretical
conversation with my children and explain my motives… or at least the day when
they become parents and explanation will no longer be needed. Until this day, I
must trust my gut and know although they feel I am pushing them to an unachievable
state of being, which they have labeled “perfection”, I am actually pushing
them to challenge themselves to evolve into the most complete beings they can
be: Beings who recognize the potential of their greatness, Beings who have
confidence in their actions, and Beings who place the act of Love at the top of
their list when making decisions about anything they come across during their
life journey.
I enforce house chores because it teaches them to contribute
to their family and later, this understanding will transform into their opportunity
to contribute to society. I correct their acts of “sibling rivalry” not because
I expect it to disappear, but because I want them to be in the habit of
reflecting on what they say and do. I correct when they speak disrespectfully
to others, not because every word to leap from their tongue is expected to be
precise in all moments, but because I want them to realize disrespect of others
is more simply a reflection of disrespecting yourself. I check their homework,
communicate with their teachers, and reward or punish according to grades. I do
not do this because I expect everyone to be on the honor roll or because I always
agree with the content of the school work or because I feel their grades
reflect who they are. I do this because I know they must learn to accept what
IS, before they can achieve what comes next. I, like the children, dream of a
world where the focus is on humanity and love and happiness. I do not want the
focus to be careers and material possessions.
However, in the acceptance of what IS, we must recognize our planet is
not operating on such a vibration. I must accept what IS and to the best of my
ability, as a mom, prepare my children to be adults in the world in which we presently
live. I help them take all that is in front of them: the good and the bad, the
challenging and the easy, and conquer it at every level. I strive to help them
achieve high goals and my heart smiles as I watch them experience the fulfillment
of such achievements.
One of our daughters has always struggled with school. The
school work has challenged and frustrated her. The school environment has been
brutal on her. The feeling of being discouraged has, at times, consumed her. After
years and years of tutoring, hours upon hours of struggling, and seemingly
unending lectures from the tyrants who raise her (often called Mom and Dad),
she came to a moment of realizing she would have to seriously step up and
seriously study to pass an upper level science course. After studying for hours
each night, she came home the day before the test to tell me they had an in-class
review. She then proceeded to tell me she was the ONLY student who knew the
answer to EVERY question! I asked her how that felt and she replied,
"I felt smart!"
Those 3 words will stick in my head for years and years to
come. “I felt smart” means so much more than “I made an A” or “I was in the top
of my class” or any other thought of achievement. Reaping the emotion of
contentment, for your own achievements, IS the ultimate goal. Realizing you can
do anything you set your mind to IS the exact mindset that will help them sore
through life!
So, although they may not currently understand, I will
continue to correct them when they do not act in love, I will continue to
enforce chores, and I will continue to push them to bring their grades up. I
will do all of this knowing, they are already the absolute most perfect beings
they are meant to be and I couldn’t possibly love them more!
My wish for you today...
is to realize your perfection
and in
each moment,
use your perfect understanding to evolve into greatness!
