Imagine

As I sat in a quiet house with only the baby and myself, eating lunch today, I was thinking of how nice it was to be alone.

 

                    Imagine....

                                                  alone!

Then, all of my children appeared….. I looked around our walls where my children have created “positive affirmation” notes and hung them randomly around our home. They have written words and drawn pictures and hung them with fun stickers on whatever surface they chose. This was in effort to create continuous positive thoughts. We read them when we pass by or stand to pour a cup of coffee or lock the door for the last time at night. Notes such as “Ocean Waves”, Pretty osim fireworcks and cookout”, “Happyness is a roadway to fun”, and “bright smiles” help put positive energy into our home. These notes hold part of my children’s spirits all the time.

So, I thought, I’m not alone. My children are all here with me.

 

 

Then, John Lennon appeared… my phone rang from the other room and I heard my ringtone, “Imagine”.  His energy makes me smile, no doubt. He sang positive affirmations to the world and encompassed our desire for peace and connection in a beautifully artistic way. He was part of my home today as I sang with him.

So, I thought, I’m not alone. My children and John Lennon are here.

 

 

Then, hundreds, no, maybe thousands of people appeared… I looked around our kitchen and living room. I started thinking of all of the people who have invented and created something that impacts my house. From the technology of the refrigerator and microwave, all the way to the very design of our picture frames or the colors of our candles. Someone envisioned my curtains before they sewed them, someone found the river rocks and polished them before they made their way around the vase on my table, someone painted my paintings, molded my rod iron artwork, and wove my baskets. So many people – thousands and thousands of people – took part in the very things living in my house. Their positive energy, the fruits of their labor, the creation of their invention is all part of my home!

So, I thought, I’m not alone. My children and John Lennon and thousands of other people are here.

 

 

How AWESOME to realize we really are SO VERY intertwined with not only are loved ones, but also with strangers. We rely on one another and we appreciate one another without even realizing how much we do. Imagine the day when we begin to grasp the depths of our connections and we realize the magnitude of that connection simply  laughs at the shallowness of what divides us.

 

 

 

As a mom, I take this back as a lesson to grow through with my kids…Loving with ALL of my Heart’s Intent is realizing what we send out is what we get back. Our impact on this world is so much larger than what we realize. I am understanding more and more and MORE ,that as I share positivity, I receive positivity! What you give IS what you get!

My wish for you today...

            to feel my happiness and encouragement because…

                                                            it is bouncing back from you!

(Please be sure to watch the Linked Video on "Kelly's iPod" to the top right. It is an incredible example of how One we all are.)

Use Fear to find Love

All of life is very simply Love or Fear. Simple.

I first heard this concept around the age of 30. I quickly knew it to be true because the Universe (God) told me over and over! I know the Universal truths because they arrive in my life multiple times and in multiple ways. I read this in a book, then another book, then heard it from a friend, and then heard it on TV. Today, I continue to be reminded! Just as I continually remind my children to pick up their shoes (such a simple task in my eyes), I am continually reminded of the simplicity of Love and Fear (such a simple task for God).

My recent pregnancy was tough on my body, my mind, and my family. Although large challenges in life often seem complicated with intricate details, I can simply say – FEAR. Underlying fears of having another baby….6 children…step siblings….half siblings….a Teen and diapers….were the absolute root cause of my prego challenges! God doesn’t want us in pain!!! We all know the obstacles we face are simply to make us stronger through life lessons, HOWEVER, also recognize the obstacles we face are of our OWN creation! The Universe desired my pregnancy to be wonderful, enjoyable, magical! MY fears caused a different outcome. The good news was my previous life lessons and my understanding of Universal Love (God’s love) allowed me to make continual conscious choices of dealing with the physical challenges because I knew…that I knew, that I knew…all would be fine and Love would prevail! This baby was SO VERY meant to be in our lives at the exact moment she arrived. Knowing this, we gave her the name Lauryl Jennae, meaning “Victorious” and “God has answered.”

I’ve recently started a Love Journal that has opened my eyes tremendously!! When I face daily challenges (most usually with kids), I know if the challenge is on my mind continually, I am making a mistake. I am reacting out of fear in some way. I break my journal entries into three sections: Situation, Reaction of Fear, and Action of Love. Forcing myself to come up with an “Action of Love” in all situations has made immense improvement in the way I feel about any situation- immediately!

Through this process, I’ve realized the use of guilt in my life…YES, I said the USE of GUILT. Guilt, that horrible 5 letter word all mothers know well. We encourage each other to get rid of it, to realize we aren’t perfect, and to not be so harsh on ourselves. I say, “WHATEVER”!!! Guilt is a VERY useful tool for me! If I feel guilt, I have said or done something – out loud or in my mind – that I do not agree with to the core of my being. The core of being is purely, simply, and completely made of Love. When my reactions to things do not simply show Love, I feel guilt. Therefore, my personal red flag is often guilt. (When I feel guilt over simple things like a messy house, I stop to realize my Fear of not having control is overriding my Love of not needing control!) My other red flags include frustration, anger, and feeling physically sick. When I see a red flag…I see a wonderful opportunity to journal and start again.

Fresh starts are often the BEST gift the Universe gives me!!!!!

In the past month alone, I have realized my discouragement from a baby’s colicky cries was based on my [ridiculous] fear it would never end and my fear I couldn’t help stop her pain. After I recognized the fear, I chose to act in love and my tolerance increased ten-fold!

My frustration with a 7 year old not doing what I asked, at the moment I asked it, was also based in fear. I feared she would not respect my authority and problems would increase in the future. Once I recognized this fear and refocused with pure love the next day, I realized she was so concerned with completing her list of tasks well, she couldn’t focus on one thing at a time. Her confusion was coming across as disrespect.

My almost-teenager was making a choice I did not agree with and when my gut reaction was frustration, she reacted and the situation catapulted to a whole new level. (I know parents of teens SO get this) My fear of her making choices I do not condone masked the understanding of her being on her own life path. She has a right to create her own future. I am to guide and love her, not control her!

I now choose to live a life of Conscious Love

and it is SO much easier (and enjoyable)!

Funny, how every subject I write about goes right back to the title of my blog, “Living by Heart’s Intent”. I guess God has been engraving this on my soul for much longer than I realized. Live by Love and Love alone!

 I wish for you, today,to use your lowly Fear

to find the best YOU

in every situation

with Love at your very core!

                                    Use Fear to find Love. ;)

Fair to be Unfair

Just a normal cookout night with my
sometimes crazy family. :)

I’m finishing a time period of a bit of chaos in my life. For about two months, I took over a Kindergarten class for a teacher on maternity leave. I love teaching, the school is great, the teachers on my team were incredible, and my family was bursting with team work and patience (most of the time) as we took on this challenge. HOWEVER, mothering 5, while teaching 24, while attempting to survive the most challenging first trimester of pregnancy I have ever experienced…not the easiest of tasks I have faced!



Kenzie and Skylar after winning

the Cannonball Contest
at a Summer Swim Party.



Now, we are finishing up the summer which has been busy and fun and did I mention exhausting and challenging? Love our family and our lives and thankful for every day…realizing the importance of a message I have yelled from the building top for years…FIND TIME FOR YOURSELF! This is the ONLY way to have sanity and focus. (By the way, I have not obeyed myself.) You must rest and refresh your mind if you ever plan to love and treat your family with fairness! We actually bribed our eldest to watch her siblings for 2 hours the other evening so we could (hold on to your socks for the excitement) go visit with Grandma and Grandpa! LOL You can definitely recognize the moments in your life when you are craving a bit of calmness and focus.





Now ending a summer of preteenhood experiences, mom/stepmom challenges, and pregnancy (as the cherry on top), I can truly say “fairness” is an idea that has not only come out of the children’s mouths often, but has rung loud and clear in my heart this summer. The ringing has been most often in the form of guilt – my nemesis! As all siblings do, the children have had a lot of experiences together and apart this summer. They have all, at some moment, had jealousy for what someone else was getting to experience. This, of course in their mind, seems to be the epitome unfairness…If only life were more fair!



Our oldest...not always agreeing with our idea of fairness,

but still jumping in to have fun! Love you, Shelb!!



I am experiencing my 4^th pregnancy and had more nausea than any of the other 3. I have been exhausted past the point of logical comprehension at times and this never happened before! If I experienced all of this in my 1^st pregnancy, I would have had the time to care for myself better and would have expected the challenges more in this final run….If only life were more fair!

I should love all of the children equally and treat them fairly every day because this is what they deserve! However, once again, not finding my own quiet time for Spiritual renewal and being slightly hormonal (only slightly…only a little bit…not much at all – you can ask Jarrod), I have NOT woken up every day feeling the need to be equally fair to everyone. Some days I can handle the “sassy one” and some days I cannot. Some days I can handle the “sensitive one” and some days I cannot. Some days I love the “independent one” because I am not finding much of myself to give. Some days I love the “needy one” because I need to cuddle and feel more love that day, too….If only life were more fair!

Waking up to a heated debate on the Today show about whether or not it is fair to ban children from certain restaurants helped me remember what fair actually means.

Treating others fairly means you have carefully considered who you are and what you believe at a particular moment in time. You have made a decision after taking into consideration all of the parties involved and you have NOT made the decision based on what makes everyone feel happy!

I realized that fairness is yet again another life concept which should be totally based within your Heart’s Intent! Make the best decision you can with the purest of intent and trust it!! The restaurant owner is not trying to be mean and unfair to families with children. He is trying to create an atmosphere where adults can take a break for their selves, to refresh and renew without being sidetracked by unruly small children at dinner. He was also trying to send a subtle message to parents about taking a moment to consider how their children’s behavior effects not only their family, but every other person in the restaurant…just like all of our behavior always impacts those around us – even as adults! (hmmm…side note…yet another moment when we stop to realize our choices with our children actually do help to mold their choices as adults) Kudos! I’d go to that restaurant (just not on family dinner nights).



Me on the Crab Drop at Seaworld
with all of the kiddos.
A moment when we all agree that
"more" does equal "more fun"!



As for MY summer challenges, I now realize I treated them “fairly” (or did the best I could – which is all that matters) every day! I loved them equally and cared enough about their life learning experience to not spoil them to make up for their feelings of jealousy over siblings. I talked them through realizing life sometimes sucks. We feel left out and jealous, but we take a deep breath, accept those things, and turn the other direction to realize the mountain of blessings showered on us as a result of the exact same situations that caused the sucky challenges….Maybe life is fair!

Having the most challenges in this pregnancy is frustrating, but understandable. With my first, I was 12 years younger and had only myself to care for. In all reality if it were so challenging the first time – would I have ever made it to my 4^th pregnancy?? So, as much as nausea and exhaustion stink, I am thankful for them coming during the last pregnancy because I am so thankful for having 4 pregnancies in my life…Maybe life is fair!



Loving different personalities
and good cousins at Chillis!



Finally, as for waking up more partial to certain people on certain days…well, this challenge has made me realize the incredible blessing our home has with so many different personalities. It has made me realize the broad spectrum of human emotion and the importance of nurturing every part of this spectrum. Also, it has made me remember the importance of finding the time to spiritually renew yourself (especially as a mom and leader of a home) because everything in life is in need of great balance. When the scales tip too far in any direction, we are not in a proper frame of mind to make true choices of fairness from the depths of our Heart’s Intent. However, when the balance gets a little off (as my life has seemed over the last few months), we are in the best position ever for learning life lessons up close and personal!! So, although I’m finishing a time period of a bit of chaos in my life, I’m beginning a time period of great reflection to learn from all of the experiences and challenges I have been so blessed to have...Maybe life really really is fair!



Love our chaos....



...AND my quiet orderly time!



Today, I wish for you...

to be challenged and unbalanced

and to experience the sucky things in life;

and then upon reflection,

realize the incredible blessing of all of those experiences!



Blog (and Baby) Coming Soon

I've been asked by several of you (thank you, thank you, thank you) when I will blog again. I promise...it's coming. I've had so many ideas in my head over the last couple of months, but between 5 kiddos at home and 16 Kindergarteners all day at work, and then discovering the big mystery of why I am soooooo exhausted (baby number 6 is on the way), I just have not found extra time to blog! My children are determined Moms now fit into the category of Bears because I have morphed into a creature of hybernation! Every extra moment has been spent napping!

I will say my thoughts are filled and I am so ready to type. After working full time, I have now experienced challenges with a family like never before!! I've been a stay-at-home mom, worked full time, married, divorced, had everything from 1 child to 5, biological children, step children and NOW a baby in the mix! Whew...could I possibly put myself into any more "categories"?? Experience is wonderful and priceless, but I am so very sincerely looking forward to staying home again and preparing for a baby. I have a lot of helpers and very excited family!!

Thanks again to all who have asked and I most definately will be back soon!!

Today, I wish for you, to appreciate what is happening right now! Whether you are in a "waiting place" or a "Fast Pace" season of your life..enjoy every second!

Your Spirit and "The Laundry List"

Alex...in one of his very odd
dressing stages. I pick my
battles. Clean clothes are
often my only requirement
with him!

I have heard and felt a common theme from so many of my friends…although parenting tips and organizational tips seem shiny wrapped in a little simply explained package, most parents (and non-parents) are so overrun by the huge “laundry list” of things to accomplish daily that there is no time to implement new ideas in their lives. Most feel they don’t even have the time to stop and contemplate new ideas, much less seriously consider using them. Many think, “Chores? Are you kidding? I just want to get through my work day, serve one meal a week that wasn’t cooked, preserved, and frozen 10 states away, have clean clothes available for at least half of my family tomorrow, and hope my sanity lasts long enough to do it all again when the sun rises!!!”

I get it. I hear you. Take a breath…

Feeling like a failure some days? I’ve been there! I’d like to say I won’t go back to this place, but I will. That’s just life. If you give passionately and live passionately, then you feel passionately and failing is something we all feel at times.

I could write a book on chores because in our home there has been a literal evolution of chores. Chores, as with everything else we do as a family, mold, grow, change, and fall by the wayside when life dictates it needs to happen. Nothing I do for my children ever stays just the same all the time. I, personally, have absolutely no specially blessed powers to predict the future for my family, so I can’t make the perfect plan and stick to it. I do, however, have a blessing of intuitive problem solving. Every rule, every chore, every routine we follow has been created as a result of a problem first arising. Chores began in our home when, as a mom of 3 very small children, I was working and going to college full time and could not keep up the housework. Chores have now evolved into a daily routine of reaping the rewards of your contribution to our family. They set a basis of living a life of service and passion, rather than a life of greed and laziness. Consider evaluating the problems in your life to find a beginning point for change.

When I homeschooled, I often felt like a failure when we began getting off of our schedule and I had to regroup again and make a new schedule again. I could not understand why we were unable to stick to a plan for the long haul. If it works, just do it and stick to it….simple, right? My moment of intense realization was when I realized I would only be a failure if I did NOT change and alter our schedule continuously. I truly believe one of the greatest successes of a parent is to be so in tune with the needs of your children that you realize when the next stage of their life journey is calling for you to make changes. To love them so deeply and to be willing to invest the time to know them so deeply you are able to recognize when to change things around, throw in the towel, or start something completely and utterly “out of the box” for their sake…WOW, now THAT is the sign of parenting with a passion!

Do not be hard on yourself when something doesn’t work for you. This doesn’t make you a failure, this makes you a success story because you are in tune enough with yourself and your family to recognize something failed! Thankfully, you are also blessed to have a spirit and a mind able to revaluate a plan and formulate a new solution.

Do not try to reorganize your life or your routine or your home all at once when you feel frustrated and worn. Aaaaahhh…your children will be walking around like robots and their brains will be shouting “overload, overload, overload”. One step at a time...day-by-day!

When I feel like everything is going wrong and I can’t get out of my own way, I know that nothing that is bothering me is actually what is bothering me! (You may have to read that sentence again.) I often tell Jarrod when I have a “laundry list” of problems and frustrations this simply means I have one problem I have not yet figured out! So, for me, this calls for quiet time. No matter what it takes, I know this is the time to move mountains and enlist my family to help move them so I can have time for prayer and meditation. This always – always – always – helps me to pinpoint the main source of discontent in my current situation. Being in tune with my spirit and letting my spirit guide my decisions is what allows me to Live by Heart’s Intent. This gives me a focus and a starting point. I can then find peace with whatever is wrong and begin dealing with it and working on it in a new way.

Now, this does not mean that the two children screaming, the one who was lying, the cat who threw up everywhere, the 10 loads of laundry waiting on me, the back log of work from my job, or the leaking roof are not still problems. Those are still there. They are still waiting for my magical touch. However, by focusing on the one root issue my spirit says it is time to focus on first, I am able to peacefully think through the other tasks one at a time. Having a spiritually focused life (and please realize I did not say a religiously focused life, but rather, I very clearly said a spiritually focused life) is what allows me to find peace and clarity to begin conquering the inevitable problems I face daily on my life path.

Maddy and her list.
It starts young. :)

So, for those who are so overwhelmed with their life’s “laundry list” of to-dos and problems, I highly recommend throwing all of the list out the window and finding quiet time. Whatever it takes – move mountains, enlist help, and do it!! I run a 7 person household, volunteer at the school, work 2 part time jobs, and on and on, so if you are looking for sympathy to not being able to find quiet time…hahaha…find another source! No sympathy here! I strongly believe without finding your quiet time, you will not be able to succeed anywhere else in your life! You must let your spirit tell you what is most important and begin from there. The beginning is always a good place to start and your Spirit is always a sure-fire source of what is important.

Today, I wish for your Spirit to guide the priorities in your life and for you to feel successful because of your failures.